More than a Movement

As I take a break from this cramming of studying this last final, I felt the need to write a post, no, I'm not procrastinating if that's what you're thinking.........

You always here people having their own "movement" or following someone else's "movement". You've probably watched Miley Cyrus's Movement documentary explaining her transition into the crazy self she is or have become obsessed with Justin Bieber's Purpose Movement like I am showing his progress and change... but truly, what is a "movement"?

move-ment; noun
1. an act of changing location or position.

2. group of people working together to advance their political, social, or artistic ideas.

Okay, so maybe the first definition isn't relevant, but the second is what we are going to look further into. "A group of people working together to advance their political, social, or artistic ideas", though it doesn't have to be a group, you can do this on your own. I have started my own, by myself, and my life has completely turned around. I don't expect you to follow my movement, but I encourage you to start your own either by yourself or with a few people and watch the transition of your life.

Let me introduce you to my "movement", this is honestly something I feel very deeply about:

I started this at the beginning of the summer, not only because I had just gotten out of a relationship, but this happening opened my eyes to show me that I truly wasn't living the right way for myself and I was distant from my true "self" because I let everyone else make "me" instead... as I've said before, I was the type of person who let anyone and everyone walk all over me yet apologized for something they did to me. I focused solely on my partner and revolved my decisions around theirs- following what their dreams were while putting mine on the back burner or ignoring mine completely. I filtered anything I said or held back what I wanted/needed to say just to save face or prevent someone being mad at me, I couldn't handle the thought of something thinking badly of me or being mad at me. This is ultimately when the movement began. I was not going to be this anymore. But changing those few things started something more. I decided my life was going to take a 180 and I wasn't going to look back.

People say you can't just wake up one day and be a different person, but somehow, I did, and I was different. I told myself to straighten up. My heart wasn't going to heal if I continued to let it hurt me. I was going to get it all out and move forward. Face it then leave it. That was the first step. I quickly learned that people are going to leave and there is nothing you can do about it, they will have their reasons, let them leave. This lead to more people leaving, more of me closing the door on some, I wasn't going to beg for people to stay in my life... if they wanted to leave, that wasn't my fault, if they only needed me for their own benefits, I wasn't going to be in a one-way friendship. I have ultimately lost a few friends, but I also gained some as well. And that's been great! This continues so often now too, and it truly doesn't bother me. Understand that you will lose people, and it's not selfish to shut the door on them yourself, focus on you, and the right people will come along. Your life changes so drastically day by day that you don't realize, then you look back at the next year and realize how far you have come and how different things have gotten. It's natural. Be okay with it, learn from it. SHUT THE DOOR!

I then decided I wasn't going to filter myself. Honestly, why hold back? It could either go super great, or super bad... but what is stopping me from this risk? Having someone mad at me for a week/losing a friend? Well, we already decided that hasn't bothered me... so might as well. Life is short, and if I never understood that before, I do now, this is the time to say the things needed to be said. Having this filter-free attitude and mouth, I became so much more free. Not only in the sense that I could do what I want, but that I could be myself because I truly didn't have to hold back or bottle things up.  Not only did I come filter-free with my words but with my actions as well. Go for the things you want to do, be with the person you might want to be with, try the things you always wanted to try. Again, what is stopping you from the risk? It won't work, you won't click with the person, or you will "fail"? Cool. But at least you tried. This goes back to my "what if" post... might as well try these things now instead of looking back asking "what if" it would have worked. GO FOR IT!

I started to become care-free with how people treated me or how I treated them, in a way. I lost emotion. This actually hasn't gotten my in trouble, yet, but there is a higher risk. Sure, I can be extremely emotional at times, but compared to where I used to be, this act is beyond rare. Everyone is battling something, yet for some reason society has taught everyone to focus solely on other's flaws instead of their successes or more importantly, THEMSELVES. I am a firm believer on, "how someone treats you is how they view you and view themselves". I also believe in "be treated how you treat others". Of course, my binge watching Gossip Girl gives me the Queen B attitude, but it's the best attitude to have: no one is above you, so don't be treated like you are any worse than anyone else. If you view yourself as a Queen or that you respect and love yourself, sure you might get hate for being confident, but that's what you are: CONFIDENT. You're not bringing others down or letting them bring you down. Focus on you! Who care's what other people think of you, the true people in your life will be supportive no matter how you reveal your true self, the ones who don't aren't supposed to be their anyways. This is the best feature I found. Just last week someone came to me saying that  "people were asking them about me because I was the talk of the town at how I've changed", and honestly, this is the first time something like this has lit me up... why does it matter and why were so many people "talking about me", but then I realized, this is going to happen for the rest of your life, people must not have any other lives than to gossip behind your back instead of coming to you to talk to you about it. Again, focus on yourself because people are going to be ridiculous either way. If you only care for yourself and a few others, you won't be brought down. BE THE TRUE YOU!

Along with the care-free and confidence, I learned that having harsh emotions aren't the way to go. If something does bother you, cool, let it bother you for 2 minutes then move on. There isn't time to be in a bad mood. But if it does, own that bad mood then make it the best mood. This has always been something I have struggled with. Anything and everything got to me. By this, I would get the strongest attitude. And still do. But I've learned you either go full force with your emotions, or you conquer it. If I feel myself getting in a bad mood and decide to stop it, I literally take myself away from everyone, go somewhere else and occupy myself in another activity. I will take my makeup off and start over. I will curl my hair in the middle of the night. I will read a devotional or watch a sermon. I will turn all the lights off and turn my headphones up full volume. I'll even just sit outside and just listen. Now, writing is another option. Once I calm down, I'm completely fine. Over the summer when I was learning what would help me, I got in arguments with my parents about it because they didn't understand. All they saw was the leading up to the calm... the storm before the calm. They saw me just get up and leave or be short with my talking or attitude, but when they called me out for it, it completely broke me. I thought I had done so well for myself and was making so much progress, but no one else saw this progress but me. That hurt. Then it clicked. I was making progress for me... no one else. If others don't understand what I do or how it helps me, that's fine, everyone is different and most people just want you to do the things they want you to do... but that's not how it works. Now, I've learned that sometimes there will be so much piling on top that relaxing may not help, so might as well wear that attitude like your favorite outfit and go for it. Like I said, who cares, be yourself. Everyone has their days, no judgement needed... smile and give them space. OWN IT!

Lastly, I became passionate. I didn't hide what I wanted. I figured out what I wanted and I'm going for it. Again, people are going to judge me for it, but that's not an issue... if they have problems, their only issue is themselves. I found what I love and how to get to where I want to be. I'm not going to stop until I get there. Set a goal and objective and actually do it. Would you rather sit and think "ah that's too much" or would you rather get there and say "ah that wasn't hard" and actually do what you love instead of doing something just because it's available. If that is how everyone lived, nobody on the planet would be happy. That's all that matters in life. BE HAPPY!

These are just a few of my movement steps, but these are the most important. I do feel strongly about this, but the other topics inside my progress may not be the right things to share just yet. All I know is making this change completely flipped my life around and I couldn't be more happy with it. To know that I'm still progressing is such an exciting thing for me, as well, and these keep me going and learning about myself. Now I challenge you to learn about yourself, what makes you... you, and what things help you to succeed in life. Make the change over this holiday break and stick with it and add to it.

Good luck on finals, my loves, and have a safe trip home!

Xoxo.